Thanks for the soiled skies

Some days I feel like I've made the biggest mistake possible. No matter which one I chose I was sacrificing something important either way. I tried living both lives, but I couldn't afford a train ride back and forth across half the state every week. I feel like I absolutely took a hit by sacrificing my education. What I was doing in Syracuse was exactly what I wanted to do. But because of the vague chance of actually doing something with music, I decided to live in Buffalo. I've been playing with these guys since 9th grade. There's nothing more in the world I'd love to do than live in a shitty van and play music for strangers in a different town every day. A modern day nomad of sorts. Now what if it goes nowhere, which is more probable than not. I am optimistic, but I feel if I stayed in Syracuse a happy future doing something that I love would've been solidified... I just love playing music more. And there's that one other factor that has been in the back of my head quietly trying to play out a certain script, and constantly letting me know that I've probably lost my chance. All I can think to do is just rack my brain until I can be content where I am, with the people I know, and what I'm doing. I just don't know if I can ever be sure. I know I never will be sure. I've had the choice between two different stories. And, like today, I feel like I've picked the wrong one.

...but something needs to change.

This reoccurring theme won't leave...

Dear Buffalo, drunken nights on the porch and riding bikes to the marina and through the ghetto and your gay pride parades and singing homeless men are what I need. I couldn't stand one more day staring through the windows in suburbia to notice not a thing move besides some squirrels, a few cars, and every once in a while someone walking their dog. From talking to people and what I read online, it seems like people are fed up with the lack of community that suburbs create. I hope that's true. 6 lane divided highways which exclude bikes and pedestrians just so you can get to whatever big-box retailer you want to get to and park in their over sized parking lot doesn't make me happy. I don't know who it makes happy. It makes me happy to walk outside my house and walk or ride my bike to get coffee. Let's walk to Delaware Park. Let's walk to Bidwell. Show at Mohawk? Let's ride there. I park my car and don't drive it for days. I'm planning on giving it up completely soon. Cars are the reason there's a lack of work in the city. Highways were built and people drove their way out of the city and took jobs with them. Just please, please, get out of your boring little suburbs and create communities. I think this country could really use it.

Last night was a really fun night. Yes, wine makes me a little obnoxious to those passing by on the sidewalks, but I hope it was entertaining at least.

Jj and I went to the Buffalo Tea Party, got some bikes, and rode around. Today was an awesome day.

Bike rides everyday.

Nothing gets crossed out.

I hate waking up this late. I feel like it ruins the potential productivity of my entire day. It's beautiful out and I already missed precious hours of that... and am continuing to by writing this. But I need to chill and have my coffee before I can do anything. School starts back up today. I've almost lost all of my motivation for school. I just really don't care anymore. The environmental studies program at UB sucks. ESF was such a better school and I really liked my major there, a lot. But Syracuse sucks and I couldn't stand being away from home. Cause being away from home means being away from my friends and all of my musical endeavors. All anybody listened to there was Jack Johnson and Umphrey's McGee, which, was real fuckin lame. I have a lot of work to catch up on for this week since I've been skipping a lot. All of my classes are one day a week, so skipping one class is like skipping a week. I don't even feel like I'm in school right now. I just need to start practicing being a hobo. Who wants to hop some trains with me?

Hahaha... stumbled upon this really late like two nights ago. Livejournal... ha. It's beautiful out. Ellen's coming to get me so we can go walk around in nature. I just skated a bit by myself, my body sucks. I got so out of breath so quickly (hmm... I wonder why) so I plan on fixing that. So back when I used this I uploaded a bunch of pictures from my computer that subsequently got erased from my computer due to it crashing. I totally forgot I did that and am really glad I did. If you hung out with me within the past 3 years you should probably take a look at them. Scroll down a few entries and there's a link. Or maybe there's a more obvious link, I don't know. I just took a road trip to Florida. That ruled harder than anything. Welp, see ya later.

Welp, I got back from tour last night. I can honestly say it was the best time of my life. Although we got fucked over from our booker, the few shows we ended up playing were awesome. Especially out in Albany, everyone I talked to at that show was so nice and made me feel so welcome to play in some town I've never been to. I'll probably never go to New Hampshire again... there's nothing there. Boston was the most amazing place I've ever been to. Not to belittle Buffalo, but that's what a real city is like. It's beautiful there. One thing I won't miss about tour is waking up in the van, cramped with six other dudes, and having the ceiling drip water on us. Yeah, it would condensate while we were sleeping, freeze over in the night, thaw out in the morning, and drip on us. That was terrible. I literally lived in a KFC parking lot for two or three days. And surprisingly, we all stayed clean for the most part. Of the five nights we slept in the van, every morning we would go to KFC or Dunkin' Donuts (for the record, Tim Horton's is waaaaay better) or somewhere and take an out-of-shower-shower. That consists of washing your hair, face, whatever in a sink and changing with a few other dudes while some old random jer walks in and gets too afraid to take a piss. We stayed two nights in a hotel - one in Boston and one in Albany. And, well, I don't think it gets better than this, but all thirteen of us stayed in some guys barn in Palmer, MA at the top of a hill in the middle of the boonies. All in all, I had an awesome time and I couldn't have asked for better band mates or a better band to go on tour with. Unfortunately last night in Utica was Joe's last show with us, due to his priorities with Get Back Up. So, we'll see what happens with that. See ya at eight.

There's still glow-in-the-dark paint in my hair. It won't come out.

I got Cassadaga in the mail. Good stuff.

Yesterday Casey and I decided to go on an adventure. Like anything I do, it involved walking around in the woods.



So we walked around and took pictures of things.



We then decided to walk down a hill.



We found a nice creek, and then fell into it.



So, being wet and in the woods in winter, we tried to find our way out.



Once we did, we headed out to the lake.



And then I found Nemo.



The end.